Trying to Control People Close to Us: Parents have been brought up to believe that it is their responsibility and duty to be in charge of and control their children’s lives. With all good intention, they believe that as they are senior in age and have lived more of life, they know what’s best for their children. They therefore control their children’s lives as much as possible in many cases, with the idea of giving their children the best chances in life.

Why then do children often not feel so good when their doting parents are doing the best for them? The answer is that the parents are really doing what’s best for THEMSELVES so that THEY feel good. Parents are separate from their children and can never truly know how their child feels or thinks. They can assume or guess, but they cannot ever live in the mind and heart of their children. They therefore cannot truly know what’s really best for their child. Each person can only experience life according to their own perspective and unique life experience. Therefore, without being aware of their true motivation to control their children’s lives, they erroneously believe that they know what’s best for their children and subsequently mould them into a certain way of life that they judge is appropriate.

Each person came to earth as an eternal soul in a physical body to experience the great contrast of life in freedom and joy, with the main purpose of expanding and growing. We are vibrational beings living in a vibrational Universe where everything is dependent on how we feel about what we think now, and what vibrational frequency we are on.

We were born with an internal guidance system that is 100% accurate all the time in how it gauges the quality of our life experience. Our emotions are this internal guidance system as the Teachings of Abraham tell us as brought to us through Esther Hicks. When we feel good, our lives are on track and when we feel bad, we’ve swerved off the track. Our thoughts are always under our personal control because we have the ability to change them at any stage. It helps to become aware of how the Laws of the Universe work and once we appreciate and understand this, we can create our own lives and give ourselves the life we desire.

Law of Attraction is the manager of everything that happens in the Universe. It functions vibrationally, meaning that it picks up the significant vibrational frequency from you and brings more things of the same vibration to you. It is an inclusive Law, so it does not differentiate between good and bad, real or imagined. It just delivers things to you that match up with your vibration now. Now is the only relevant time, because how you are feeling and vibrating now determines how your life is panning out now, and also in the near future.

Every subject is 2 subjects: things you want and the absence of the things you want. Many people don’t realise they’re giving their attention to the absence of what they want instead of what they want. So if you’re thinking of how controlling someone in your life is, and you feel any kind of negative emotion like being victimised, powerless, frustrated, angry, etc. you’re focused on the absence of what you want while you’re observing the situation as it is that you don’t want. Even justifying how wretched you are and how deserving you are of a better life, you still are focused on the absence of what you want. Whenever you feel bad, no matter to what degree, whether it is mere frustration or full-blown hate or anger, you are focused on the negative side of the equation of what you desire. When you are vibrating in such negativity and bad feeling, the Law of Attraction brings more of these situations to you. You can never feel good or attract better-feeling things, people or experiences to yourself while you are feeling so bad. The Law of Attraction always is consistent: it matches up things that are of the same vibration.

The reason we so dislike being controlled by other people, is because we were born understanding that freedom is the basis of our lives. Being forcibly restricted and controlled by others therefore goes against our soul’s purpose of desiring to live a life where we feel free to be ourselves and make our own choices.

If you find yourself in a relationship now where you are feeling controlled by another person, be it your parents, your partner, your boyfriend/girlfriend, your boss, friend, mother-in-law or anyone else, the most effective way you can empower yourself again is to change your thinking and how you feel about your thoughts. It also is the easiest and quickest way to get positive results because of our vibrational nature and that of our Universe. The reason why people struggle in life is because they leave out the spiritual component of how our lives function. Once this is acknowledged and you learn to use the Laws of the Universe to your advantage, life becomes good. You regain full control of your life and your freedom and you create the life you want.

So how do you do this?

1) Become aware of how you’re thinking and how your thoughts are making you feel now.

2) If your thoughts make you feel good, then continue thinking positively and you will feel better and better.

3) If you’re not feeling good, change your thoughts to anything that feels slightly better. If you are feeling despair, for example, or feeling sorry for yourself, you can’t jump from here to thinking about something that makes you jump for joy. The gap is too big to jump from despair to joy. You can move yourself slowly, step-by-step, to feeling more positive. Be patient and kind to yourself.

4) To help yourself feel better and raise your vibration, appreciate the small things that are positive in your life. They can be as small as the sun shining or your pet’s beautiful soft fur, etc. The longer you focus on things (anything) that make(s) you feel good you raise your vibration slowly but surely, and strengthen yourself. You begin to regain your feeling of personal power again merely by the focus of your thoughts as they make you feel better and better.

5) If you are able to, you can focus on the best parts of the person who’s controlling you, and only give your attention to these positive aspects of them. Remember and think of them as you love them and appreciate them. Isolate these best aspects of them that make you feel good as you think about them.

6) If you can consistently concentrate on these people as you love them while completely ignoring their controlling parts, Law of Attraction will only bring you together with these people as you positively think of them now. Their controlling, negative parts will not be a part of your reality any longer and if they continue to try to control you, because you have changed how you visualise your relationship with them now, and you feel good now, it won’t affect you. Either their controlling behaviour with you will stop, or they will cease being a part of your life because you will now be on a different vibrational frequency. A controlling person cannot control a person who is unwilling to be controlled and who is in their power enjoying their freedom of choice. Control and freedom are on two different vibrational frequencies.

7) If you can’t manage thinking of the best aspects of this controlling person, then distract yourself with any thoughts that allow you to feel better. Always notice how you’re feeling at any moment in time because how you feel now is what your life will feel like now and also possibly in the future.

8) Make a conscious effort to notice the good in people, places and things.

9) Only talk about things that make you feel good and remove yourself from people or situations where you feel bad.

10) Listen to uplifting and inspiring music and words. Take note of what and who you’re surrounding yourself with. Ensure you feel good at all times.

11) Watch TV and movies that engender good feelings.

12) Law of Attraction will always deliver to you the vibrational equivalent of how you’re feeling now. You have the power to change your thoughts at all times so have the ability to feel good whenever you want to.

13) You are the creator of your own life and are born with all the internal resources inside you to live a life of freedom and happiness.

(NB There are also other possible plans, so I’ve labelled this as “plan 1″. Click here to see their recommended “Plan 2” which is another possible 30-day plan.)

Here is the gist of it Plan 1:

1.) Set aside time for working on feeling good:

Decide to be lazy for a little while. In giving yourself permission to be lazy, you are giving yourself permission to ALLOW, and to let the things you have asked for that are in your vortex flow in. The word “lazy” has an unpleasant connection for most humans because of the human flawed premise that “the more you do, the more you’re worth” – but spiritually speaking, this premise is not true. Spiritually-speaking, the most important premise is this one: “The better you feel, the more you allow”. So carve out some time to feel better; to be nicer to yourself, to do less, to have time to satisfy your own personal intention for things. It’s not how hard you work that matters, it’s about how *good you feel* that matters.

2. Meditate for 15 minutes every day

Quiet your minds with the simple intention of allowing your cork to float. It’s sometimes easier to think no thought than positive thought, and that’s exactly what this meditation exercise is. When you have no thought, it helps to “allow”. If you have no thoughts there to offer resistance, you help your cork to float, and therefore help allow the things in your vortex to flow to you. It is resistant thoughts that pull your vibration down. Your resistant-free, natural vibration is a high one. Your natural state is one of thriving and well-being, and by being in a state of “no resistant thought”, it helps you tap into that natural state.

Meditation method option 1: Breathing meditation
Sit or lie down, be comfortable, close your eyes, breathe, and focus on breathing for 15 minutes. You can set a gentle timer to let you know when 15 minutes is up.

Meditation method option 2: Positive focus meditation

Another meditation method is, instead of focusing on breathing, focusing on something else that feels good. It may be a beautiful flower or a beautiful place, a person you love or anything else that you appreciate. In this case you may have some thoughts floating around about that “thing” you choose, but the aim is to fully focus in a positive way on that thing without any resistant thoughts creeping in.

Meditation method option 3: Chakra Meditation
This isn’t specifically recommended by Abraham Hicks, but I thought another kind of meditation you could do is one where you focus on chakra balanacing in your mind’s eye, imagining each of the chakras swirling in healthy bright colors. Balanced chakras can only help you feel good!

3. Spend some time outside every day

Go outside, no matter what the weather and move around in it, in appreciation of this planet. Look up and around, and find things to acknowledge and appreciate. Whether you’re in the countryside or a city there is always a lot to appreciate outdoors.

4. Daily Positive Aspects / Rampages of Appreciation

Buy a notebook, call it your Book of Positive Aspects. On top of the page you’re starting with, write the name of something you like eg a person you like, a city, restaurant, hobby, object, anything! Then think: “what do I like about you, why do I like you so much”. Then write down the feel-good answers that come to you; the ones that flow easily to you. Write as long as the thoughts flow. When the flow stops, let yourself enjoy reading it back. Then move onto the next page with the next thing you appreciate, and let flow all the things you like about that thing flow to you. And repeat. Ideally you want to do 3-5 things a day, or around 20 minutes.

You may discover that as you do this, more ideas for things you appreciate come to you than you want to spend time writing full pages on. In this case, note down the ideas for things you appreciate for future exercises.

This whole Rampage of Appreciation / Positive Aspects exercise tunes you into higher, better feeling vibration, close to appreciation, where more good, high-vibration things will be in vibrational alignment with you and will therefore flow to you easily.

5.) Take a moment to Acknowledge Source every day:

Take a moment to look outside (whether when you are outside, or whether you are looking out a window) and use that moment to acknwoeldge that there are universal forces that are focused right at you. Acknowledge those forces, whether you call them “Source” / “God” / or whatever you prefer. You can say something like:
“I acknowledge that I am the object of your positive attention and I am appreciating your continual gaze on behalf of my well-being. And today, no matter where I am, where I am going and who I am doing it with, I know that you are there doing it with me: appreciating me, supporting me, assisting me, acknowledging me, inspiring me, guiding me, having fun with me, helping me, aware of me, loving me, showing me, uplifting me…”

What this does, is help you align with the belief that good things flow to you; you are loved; helped; supported; adored; guided and open to inspiration whenever you need. This belief is a wonderful belief to have to help you attract more positivity and ease into your life.

6.) Future-pacing Exercise:

I heard this exercise described by a guy who successfully managed to attract everything he ever wanted using this exercise and the law of attraction.

This was his method:
Imagine a future where you are in an Abraham Hicks conference, and you have been called up to the hot seat to talk with Abraham. In this future, all the things you desired have come true, and you have come to this gathering to tell Abraham how appreciative you are of their teachings that played a part in helping you line up with each of the things you wanted. Write down the conversation you will have with Abraham in a letter, going into detail about all the wonderful things that have manifested after you successfully lined up with them and successfully managed to attract them into your life.

Once you have written this letter, read it to yourself once or twice a day for 30 days, basking in the idea of how fun and exciting it would be to be able to tell Abraham these things have come true.

The idea is as you line up with the vibration of telling the story of success, you line up with that feeling of success which will help true successful manifestation come to you.

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Abraham often suggest doing a 30-day challenge of applying their techniques in order to feel a significant change in your life. Applying these 6 things sounds to me like a do-able endeavour!

Will you join me in applying these 6 exercises for 30 days?