Pleasing Others and Feeling Good

Many of us have been taught that pleasing others is a good thing as when others are pleased by what we do for them, it makes us feel good because they feel good. Directly connected to this, is that we also often count on feeling our self-worth by getting other people’s approval. When we approach life in this conditional way, we can begin to see our self-confidence dipping and our feelings of self-worth adversely affected when we don’t manage to always please all those we want to please.

Pleasing everyone all the time is in fact, impossible and we’re just setting ourselves up for failure. The reason that we’re unable to carry out the task of being all things to all people all of the time, is that we are trying to control the uncontrollable: We’re attempting to control other people’s perception of us, and this is not possible. We cannot behave in enough different ways that will allow all people to approve of us as we take action to please them and gain their approval and love.

Each person has their own character and life experiences that have helped them reach the point they are at as they perceive you. They each have a vibrational set-point from which they see you which came into being as a result of their living their own life. All was their own creation and had nothing to do with you because no-one can create in another person’s reality. Therefore, even though you feel responsible to make someone feel better by gaining their approval with your actions, it actually is not under your control at all. The way others feel, is the way they feel because of who they are and their own personal emotional responses to things.

What you receive from someone who is asking you to do things to make them feel better, is a reflection of their own feelings that have been caused by the life experiences they’ve had that have nothing to do with you. You are not the reason why people feel bad. It therefore is not your job to please them so they’ll feel better.

Most people are not aligned with their Inner Being and from such a position of vibrational misalignment and negative feeling they try to control conditions (and you) to make themselves feel good. The Law of Attraction is a very consistent Law of the Universe that always delivers to us things that correspond with how we’re feeling now and where we’re at now. It’s impossible to feel good from a place of feeling bad. No-one can imbue another person with good feeling when they are not on that vibration. Like things will attract like things. It’s like trying to tune in to a different radio channel and expecting to receive this new transmission when the one you’re on is on a different channel and frequency. It’s just not possible.

So trying to please a person who is out of whack to begin with will not consistently make you feel better, make them feel better, let you gain their approval or change your life (or theirs). When you attempt this impossible project, and you inevitably fail, you can lose your feelings of self-worth and self-confidence and feel inadequate. Trying to gain the approval of others who are not aligned is looking for love and acceptance in the wrong place.

The most powerful way to feel your own worthiness is to align yourself with your Inner Being and feel the love for yourself coming from within you. The idea is to always take care of yourself first and get your own good-feeling vibration into gear rather than trying to please others to feel good.  You cannot give anyone anything valuable from a place of lack and inadequacy. You can only give out what you already have and if you are catering to someone from a position of inadequacy and expecting them to make you feel worthy with their approval, you are not going to achieve what you want. You can only feel worthy unconditionally once you feel of value from within and love and appreciate yourself for just being you, and not because of the things you do that please others.

Living conditionally means expecting or wanting others to behave in certain ways to please us. Most people live conditionally because they respond or react to what they see happening around them. They then try change circumstances to feel better sometimes asking you to change the way you behave to accommodate them in some way. Desiring to please, you may attempt to do what you believe will gain their approval. Everything that a person feels is always their own personal responsibility because only they can feel what they feel because of who they are.

We can allow ourselves to feel free when we let go of trying to control how others perceive us. What you think may please someone may not be in line with what they think is pleasing. It’s often a guessing game of hit-and-miss. Doing one thing that you believe is good and will gain the approval of someone may or may not be what they want depending on their mood or frame of mind. There is no way we can ever second-guess or control another person’s feelings or perceptions.

All we can do is the internal vibrational work to change how we feel personally from within. You cannot expect to feel good from a person you feel needs pleasing because they don’t feel good. This is contrary to how the Law of Attraction works with similar things being matched up with more of the same. So when we feel good ourselves and don’t rely on others to make us feel good, worthy, accepted or loved only then will we truly feel free and be ourselves.

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